Commentary: Volleyball starting lineup for 2016 presidential candidates

It’s that magical time — or intolerable for some — when the U.S. presidential primary season coincides with the college men’s volleyball season.

All the candidates have displayed a bipartisan effort in not telling the American people their views and hot takes about the season. Despite the lack of volleyball talk this political season, it’s clear based on their political views and actions the starting positions each candidate would play on a volleyball team.


Check out the volleyball starting lineup for the 2016 U.S. presidential candidates.

Setter: Bernie Sanders
Sanders has been all about wanting to distribute the wealth. It’s only fitting that the senator would distribute the ball as the setter. Expect this team to run a balanced offense with not one player getting all the sets.

Middle attacker: Donald Trump
Trump’s desire to build a wall transitions perfectly to the court and creating a strong blocking game at the net.

Middle attacker: Ted Cruz
Cruz and his wall provides additional blocking and a strong front-row defense. However, it should be noted Cruz will likely say he is the only true blocker on the team.

Opposite: John Kasich
Kasich has been the opposite of almost every other GOP candidate during debates — he doesn’t yell and is not highly critical of other candidates. Not sure about Kasich’s vertical, but he did graduate from the MIVA school Ohio State.

Outside attacker: Marco Rubio
Rubio jumped in the polls last week and those types of hops could help him at the pins.

Outside attacker: Ben Carson
Every team always seems to have one player on the court who appears to be really, really, really, really calm and non-excitable during matches.

Libero: Michael Bloomberg
Not sure if Bloomberg is in or out of the race — much like a libero who constantly is subbing in and out of a match.

Serving specialist: Hillary Clinton
Clinton has shown her ability to use multiple email servers and spin it. Imagine what the spin would look like on her jump serve.